Open Marriage

My first job after college was in Lancaster, PA. I worked at channel 15. I was originally hired to create TV media for a new mall. The mall wasn’t built yet so I worked in the TV station doing anything and everything I could. I learned what it was like to play in television in a small market and it was a blast. I got to direct the news, make commercials and shoot sports… I mean everything. Three weeks in I got married. 

After about a year I made a commercial for the manager of a clothing store called Double Image. He loved the commercials and we became friends. The commercial started with a close-up of a clown’s face and then slowly pulled back to reveal the clown dressed in the clothes from the store.

Off handedly I mentioned that if he wanted to really get people into his store he should get me a radio show. In 1971 you could not get good music in Lancaster. If the stars were properly aligned and the weather was clear and cold and you had an antenna at 90 degrees from your naval, you might be able to get WMMR out of Philadelphia (for about five minutes). I wanted to play the music of my generation.

The next day he called me and told me I better be ready with a presentation as I had an appointment the next day at 1. I went in and bullshitted my way onto the radio. I had three hours from 10PM to 1AM and would sign off the air. My main intention was to do a different commercial for each sponsor every time we did a commercial. I would do characters and news and play the music I loved.

One of the sponsors was a man named John who owned Ye Olde Book Shoppe. They sold used and new paperbacks. In the back of the store were all kinds of erotica… gadgets and paraphernalia and movies… you know the kind where you go into a little room and close the door, put in a quarter and the porn film would show on the back of the door for two minutes.

After two months of doing the show, I went in one day to find out what John wanted me to cover in his commercials for that week. While we were talking he said, “You should have been with me this weekend.”

“Why?”

“We had an orgy. Have you ever been to one?”

Now, I was from the city of Philadelphia. He was living in the Hicksville town of Lancaster. So I said, “Of course I’ve been to an orgy.”

He then proceeded to tell me all about the orgy he attended and I kept on bullshitting about my experiences. He then invited my wife and I to go with he and his wife the next time.

I went home that night and said to my wife of little over a year, “I had an interesting conversation with John at the bookstore…” and then I proceeded to tell her about the orgy and all the rest of it. I told her I was embarrassed about lying and didn’t know what to do. And then I said, “What do you think about the whole orgy situation?”

She said, “Remember our first date when I stood you up and left the bagels on your motorcycle?”

“Yeh…” Of course I remembered that. I had never been so angry and hurt with someone I didn’t even know.

“Well… that’s where I was!”

“Hold on. You were at an orgy?”

“Yes.”

I then proceeded to ask her every question imaginable. Where was it? What did you do get to the door and when it opened just throw your clothes off and f*** anyone who was there? Was there food?

She answered all the questions and I was impressed. I could totally understand why she didn’t show up for a goofy picnic with me. I mean, she was up all night and she was exhausted!

I had forgiven her before and now I really forgave her for standing me up.

There was still the matter of my conversation and how I had been a bragging assh*** with John. I was a newlywed. How could I possibly do something like an orgy with my wife?

I decided I would come clean, call John and tell him I was talking out of my ass when I spoke of my big city prowess. I was nervous and I dialed the phone. He picked up and before I could say anything he said, “Jerry, I have to say I’m sorry for bragging so much about the orgy. I think I came off a bit snobbish or something.”

I couldn’t believe it. He was apologizing to me.

Then he came up with a proposal. “Why don’t you and your wife come over for dinner one time. Not for sex or anything like that but to meet us and spend some time and eat and get high. If we decide after spending time together we would all like to do the sex thing… that will be for a later time”

Thus started the open marriage. John gave me a couple of books about open marriages and man, did I ever buy into that philosophy. It was sex with no cheating or guilt because you were doing it at the same time.

And let me say this in closing. Sex was always wonderful. Sex for just sex sake with various different women was great but afterwards when I was with my wife, that physical part of our relationship was beyond phenomenal! Once love entered the picture it took on a whole new level of intensity and depth.

Whew… I’m glad I got that out… the memories were flooding back.